It started out so innocently. We were two people who met online by sharing the same eccentric love for the band My Chemical Romance. We both had a fan site dedicated to them on MySpace. Somehow the discussions turned into flirting but it was still very cryptic and unclear as to if it was in actuality flirting. I had been out of my previous relationship for over a year, a relationship which had lasted for 6 which had caused me a great deal of disillusionment. I had no ill will towards him but in order to help me recover from the sadness I became incredibly obsessed with My Chemical Romance, which had led me to create the fan site. Katie had been single as well for a little while after going through a much more devastating break up with her ex-boyfriend. So here we were two women finally being OK with being single but suddenly finding ourselves flirting online. It was harmless enough especially since I lived in California and she was thousands of miles away in England.
I don’t easily become attracted to anyone and I’m not the kind of person who falls in love at the drop of the hat, but I found myself thinking about her all the time. We still only spoke to each other online but I would have butterflies in my stomach waiting for her to go online every day. It was the highlight of my day and I was thankful she was willing to stay up so late to wait for me to get off of work to talk since we did have an 8 hour time difference. Then one day we decided she would fly out here to California to visit for a week. It was becoming surreal. Could this be happening? I kept wondering if she was beginning to have feelings for me but I didn’t have the courage to ask. I tried to convince myself that she did since I couldn’t find any other reasonable explanation for why she would travel so far and at the high price of airline tickets just to visit someone she barely knew. I must have spent weeks trying to make my apartment and myself presentable. I wanted everything to be perfect.
Even up to the moment we met at the airport in San Francisco, the butterflies continued to stampede my stomach and my nerves were manic. Then the moment when I saw her beautiful face and her engaging eyes in person I had fallen deeply in love. It may sound cliché to say love at first sight but that was what it was and that is what I feel everyday even now, three years later, when I come home and see her.
During the past three years Katie and I have developed a loving committed relationship despite the many obstacles we have faced in just trying to be together. Within the first six months of our relationship Katie spent thousands of dollars in airfare to fly back and forth to the US to be with me.
In the Spring of 2008 Katie came over on a 3 month visitor’s VISA which gave our relationship a sense of normalcy. We mostly lived off of my salary since Katie was unable to work while in the United States but we made the best of it since at least we were together. But once again, we were forced to say goodbye, unknowing the next time we would be able to see each other again. The heartache of consistently saying goodbye to the person you love with the uncertainly of knowing when you would be reunited again is devastating. Every time we had to say goodbye became harder and harder. My whole body would hurt from sadness and life seemed meaningless without her beside me.
Katie was able to return to the United States for a short visit again in December 2008 which added more debt to her bank account. It is important to point out that neither one of us are wealthy by any means, but our situation was uniquely special in the way that Katie had a savings nest egg where I unfortunately was practically living paycheck to paycheck despite having a good paying job.
After much discussion and debate Katie and I decided that she would try to come over the United States under a student visa. As a 27 year old college graduate the prospects of returning to college was not Katie’s preferential method of returning to the United States but with limited options it seemed the only one available to us that would allow her to remain in the United States longer than three months. We learned quickly that this would be a challenging and an expensive expedition. A great deal of research went into finding courses and a college that would be suitable for Katie’s interest and then we were informed of the how much International students must pay to attend the college.
She attended a local Community college where US citizens pay only around $20 per unit, but charges over $200 a unit for International student who are required by law to have at least 12 units per semester. In order to be accepted to the college, an International student must also prove that that have at least $10, 000 dollars saved in the bank to ensure the student does not become a burden to the state. Then there are the hundreds of dollars that must go into obtaining the Visa through an official embassy. Once we were able to fulfill the entire requirements I flew over to the UK, spending over $1000 for an airline ticket, to travel back with Katie to the United States.
Over the year while Katie attended college, we lived on a limited budget as once again only I was eligible to work. Living as a two income family would have put us in a better position to live more comfortably but since the laws forbid Katie to work while on a student Visa we were forced to live by minimum means. After bills and rent we were forced to live on an extremely tight budget but once again, being together was the most important thing. This is not to say that this did not cause a great stress and anxiety in trying to survive. And as the summer after her first year arrived, we were forced to make the decision on whether or not we could afford to live another year in this economical climate, especially with the realization of the cost of another school year as an International student.
Katie and I now had to make another difficult decision that would temporarily separate our family. Katie is set to return to the UK mid September 2010 which breaks my heart more than I can express. As it is now only weeks away the impending separation causes every muscle in my body to clinch with agony. I am constantly fighting back the tears as I try to focus at work or as I look at her from across our living room. Where does one pull the strength from again and again.
Over the past two years I have been fortunate enough to be involved with an organization called Out4immigration. It was through their guidance and support that I came into contact with other same sex bi-national couples who could relate to Katie and my situation. They have helped me realize that our situation is not an isolated situation but one that is faced by tens of thousands of couples in American, not to mention the many couples who chose to leave America to live in a country that has immigration Visas for same sex couples. With my volunteer work with Out4immigration I have had the opportunity to educate people regarding the work needed to change America’s immigration laws so that families like mine aren’t forced to choose between love and country.
In both houses of the United States Congress we have a proposed bill, The Uniting American Families Act, which would change the language in current immigration law to include United States citizens in a same sex bi-national relationship that want to sponsor their partner for immigration purposes. We work tiresomely in contacting Congress people in hopes that they will co sponsor the bill so that it can be brought to a vote by both houses.
In working to urge California’s State Assembly to support the bill, I was one of the speakers at a hearing in the fall of 2009. Through my and other bi-nantional couples testimony, we were able to encourage the Assembly and California’s Senate in becoming the first state to officially support the Uniting American Families Act.
While working on reaching out for support, I learned so much about the unfairness of our laws including those that show more opportunities for a heterosexual person who wishes to sponsor a Mail Order spouse provided that they have met in person at least once in the last two years.
Despite my diligence and devotion in working towards changing the laws, it does not change my current situation of having to say goodbye to Katie one more time. Being apart from the person you love because your country does not recognize it is inexcusable. Our situation isn’t about whether or not our country should legalize same sex marriage, it’s about just being able to be together in the same country. It is about allowing families to stay together and not being placed in a situation where they have to decide whether or not to leave everything and move to a new country or to live here illegally with the fear of being deported and torn away from their partner and in many situations, their children.
Katie and I have many things to decide but we know that we will not let anyone tear us apart. We have spent an immense amount of energy, time, money and tears in order to be together and we will continue to fight to be together. When I think back of all the potential obstacles that could have kept us apart I am incredibly proud of the dedication we have shown to our relationship. In a day and age were uncertainty of the future faces all of us, one thing can be certain, love cannot be destroyed.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Breaking News - The cancellation of 8 years of the Bush Years Spy series will now be replaced by the Republican Party Lack of Reality show!
Leave it to the Republicans to create the most entertaining train wreck reality show ever broadcasted. On some days I find myself caught between the urge to fall on the floor laughing at their hypocrisy, such as when John McCain proclaimed that he never considered himself a Maverick. Did anyone actually think he was? But on other days Im compelled to run for the hills out of fear for my life. With storylines as fanciful as any soap opera how could I ever dream of not tuning in? I never imaged Id see the words RNC money and Lesbian bondage Club all in the same headline. Yet I’m fascinated with the possibilities of what will be written or rewritten next.
The extended season opened during the 2008 Presidential election campaign as we witnessed the day to day lack of coordination of stories by McCain and Palin. So was Joe the Plumber even a plumber? One can assume that the Liberal Media had a cornucopia of delightful sound bites to pick and choose from that showed not only the disconnection that the ticket had with the every day American but the detachment amongst the two running mates. Perhaps they needed better Hollywood handlers who could have assisted them with their lines.
After the elections, I thought that there would be relief from the tragedy that was the McCain/Palin epic and that Washington would, for once and for all become a place of change, a place for action. Change and action did occur indeed. But not how I expected. But then how could anyone have predicted the creation of the Tea Party or the Birther Movements.
As entertaining as it was watching Palin Go Rogue, I must say that I thought her 15 minutes of fame had expired. Little did I know that by 2010, Palin, with her paranoid frenzy sidekick Congress woman Michele Bachmann, would become the poster children for the Tea Party movement. A movement that still has yet to convince me that they stand for anything except for anything that President Obama supports. I wonder how many of Palins Tea Party followers live in her designated “un-American” regions?
As the Democrats gained a majority in the House, the Senate and the White House, life as we knew it was over. All the joys and benefits we had under Bush are no longer available. Wait? What? Infomercial Break brought to you by the Republican Party.
The Republican Party of 2010 would like us all to believe that life is now worse. But is it? Months after Obama’s inauguration, the “Right” found their voices by saying that the economy has yet to improve under Obama’s direction. It doesn’t take a political scientist to realize that the economy was not going to bounce back instantaneously. But despite the recent release of publicized facts of how the country is starting to see an economic recovery, Republican figureheads brand the situation as a time for all Americans to “RELOAD” Reload what may I ask and what is the intended outcome of reloading?
Did our reality show become a war documentary? No not yet. There is another show in mind first. The spin off to the reality show is the Blame/Take Credit for Game. The Blame/Take Credit for Game has always fascinated me. As a child I was bewildered as to why President Regan was credited with the release of the Iran hostages when he had not yet officially taken office. Then in my late twenties I was left astonished at the claims that it was somehow Clinton’s fault that September 11 happened even though he had not been President for over nine months.
In the latest episode of the Blame/Take Credit for Game, the rules have changed. The Republicans no longer need actual events to blame on the Democrats. Instead it is the prediction of “inevitable” future events, which cast a shameful shadow against the Democrats, especially those of the Liberal persuasion. To rally against health care reform, thanks to the writers at Fox news, the American public is continuously reminded by Republican politicians how we can not allow the bill to be “rammed down our throats”. They tell us that within the reform bill, we will now have an option to euthanize our grandparents and that thousands of IRS inspectors will vigilantly hunt us down if we do not purchase health insurance. Did anyone tell the Republican legislators that the bill can be read in full online and that it clearly does not include any mention of such details?
The actuality of the situation is that this has become more than a realty game show, suitably titled, Fear Factor. Fear is what holds the Republican party together. What is troubling is that the Republican party finds the need to prey on the fears of every day Americans that do not take it upon themselves to see how balanced and fair their information sources truly are. Fears so deep routed with a history of blind ignorance and in many cases social and racial bigotry. Somehow such radical ideas such as making sure hard working Americans can provide themselves and their families with quality healthcare without going bankrupt, opens a gateway to fascism or worse, Armageddon.
Palin may find it amusing to excite her followers to “Reload” but when does speech like this become accountable for destructive actions those who take to heart her words. In the past few weeks, reports of death threats and property damage against members of Congress have been reported. When did we once again use violence to promote our values instead of the power of voting? I suppose some can not wait till November to have their voices heard.
Yes the current administration is comprised of a majority of democrats and it appears that it is an administration trying to work for the American people. This is something that has not been seen in almost a decade. The Republicans had power and as a result of their power our county was left with an enormous deficit (though they were handed a surplus) and two endless wars. Where were all the outraged Republicans then? Has Obama changed so much that it has brought them out of the wood works? Gun in hand and ready to “Reload” I don’t believe so.
Without holding my breath in hopes that the Republican politicians will stop campaigning for the next election in favor of getting back to work on the jobs they already have in Washington DC, I am captivated to what’s to come. I am at a lose at speculating what the season finale outcome will be. If we are lucky this series will be cancelled and those in government can continue without interruption with the change we voted for in 2008. Maybe I will just turn the television off and pick up a book. Perhaps one with a less frightening characters.
The extended season opened during the 2008 Presidential election campaign as we witnessed the day to day lack of coordination of stories by McCain and Palin. So was Joe the Plumber even a plumber? One can assume that the Liberal Media had a cornucopia of delightful sound bites to pick and choose from that showed not only the disconnection that the ticket had with the every day American but the detachment amongst the two running mates. Perhaps they needed better Hollywood handlers who could have assisted them with their lines.
After the elections, I thought that there would be relief from the tragedy that was the McCain/Palin epic and that Washington would, for once and for all become a place of change, a place for action. Change and action did occur indeed. But not how I expected. But then how could anyone have predicted the creation of the Tea Party or the Birther Movements.
As entertaining as it was watching Palin Go Rogue, I must say that I thought her 15 minutes of fame had expired. Little did I know that by 2010, Palin, with her paranoid frenzy sidekick Congress woman Michele Bachmann, would become the poster children for the Tea Party movement. A movement that still has yet to convince me that they stand for anything except for anything that President Obama supports. I wonder how many of Palins Tea Party followers live in her designated “un-American” regions?
As the Democrats gained a majority in the House, the Senate and the White House, life as we knew it was over. All the joys and benefits we had under Bush are no longer available. Wait? What? Infomercial Break brought to you by the Republican Party.
The Republican Party of 2010 would like us all to believe that life is now worse. But is it? Months after Obama’s inauguration, the “Right” found their voices by saying that the economy has yet to improve under Obama’s direction. It doesn’t take a political scientist to realize that the economy was not going to bounce back instantaneously. But despite the recent release of publicized facts of how the country is starting to see an economic recovery, Republican figureheads brand the situation as a time for all Americans to “RELOAD” Reload what may I ask and what is the intended outcome of reloading?
Did our reality show become a war documentary? No not yet. There is another show in mind first. The spin off to the reality show is the Blame/Take Credit for Game. The Blame/Take Credit for Game has always fascinated me. As a child I was bewildered as to why President Regan was credited with the release of the Iran hostages when he had not yet officially taken office. Then in my late twenties I was left astonished at the claims that it was somehow Clinton’s fault that September 11 happened even though he had not been President for over nine months.
In the latest episode of the Blame/Take Credit for Game, the rules have changed. The Republicans no longer need actual events to blame on the Democrats. Instead it is the prediction of “inevitable” future events, which cast a shameful shadow against the Democrats, especially those of the Liberal persuasion. To rally against health care reform, thanks to the writers at Fox news, the American public is continuously reminded by Republican politicians how we can not allow the bill to be “rammed down our throats”. They tell us that within the reform bill, we will now have an option to euthanize our grandparents and that thousands of IRS inspectors will vigilantly hunt us down if we do not purchase health insurance. Did anyone tell the Republican legislators that the bill can be read in full online and that it clearly does not include any mention of such details?
The actuality of the situation is that this has become more than a realty game show, suitably titled, Fear Factor. Fear is what holds the Republican party together. What is troubling is that the Republican party finds the need to prey on the fears of every day Americans that do not take it upon themselves to see how balanced and fair their information sources truly are. Fears so deep routed with a history of blind ignorance and in many cases social and racial bigotry. Somehow such radical ideas such as making sure hard working Americans can provide themselves and their families with quality healthcare without going bankrupt, opens a gateway to fascism or worse, Armageddon.
Palin may find it amusing to excite her followers to “Reload” but when does speech like this become accountable for destructive actions those who take to heart her words. In the past few weeks, reports of death threats and property damage against members of Congress have been reported. When did we once again use violence to promote our values instead of the power of voting? I suppose some can not wait till November to have their voices heard.
Yes the current administration is comprised of a majority of democrats and it appears that it is an administration trying to work for the American people. This is something that has not been seen in almost a decade. The Republicans had power and as a result of their power our county was left with an enormous deficit (though they were handed a surplus) and two endless wars. Where were all the outraged Republicans then? Has Obama changed so much that it has brought them out of the wood works? Gun in hand and ready to “Reload” I don’t believe so.
Without holding my breath in hopes that the Republican politicians will stop campaigning for the next election in favor of getting back to work on the jobs they already have in Washington DC, I am captivated to what’s to come. I am at a lose at speculating what the season finale outcome will be. If we are lucky this series will be cancelled and those in government can continue without interruption with the change we voted for in 2008. Maybe I will just turn the television off and pick up a book. Perhaps one with a less frightening characters.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Encouraging Day at Sacramento Pride 2009.
Out4Immigrations presence at this year’s Sacramento Pride has and will continue to make a difference in working towards Immigration equality. During the course of the day we able to reach out to so many in the community and gain support from those who are currently facing LGBT immigration difficulties as well as those who aren’t but are willing to help us in our efforts.
On Saturday June 20, the day started with an uncertainty as we set up our booth amongst more widely known organizations. Decorated proudly with our banner, pink and black balloons and a variety of other eye catching ornaments our booth stood out and could be seen from the other end of the park. As people walked by they could not help but to stop by and ask about who we were and what we stood for. For those that were unaware of the challenges that LGBT binational couples face it was clear that their support was with us. We received over 70 signatures of those who wish to be added to our mailing list and letter writing campaign. Many asked specifically as to how they can volunteer in working towards getting the UAFA passed. The director of the Sacramento Gay and Lesbian Center has offered for us to use their facilities for various functions such as town hall meetings. We were approached by a local press reporter who is interested in covering our story as well.
One of the most remarkable experiences that transpired was the opportunity to reach out to other binational couples that weren’t aware of our organization. We were given the chance to speak with over a dozen couples who didn’t know that there are people diligently working towards immigration equality. Many of the couples, as we were told, were planning to leave the country, while others were fighting to keep their work visas. Hearing about their struggle in trying to remain together, these couples spoke about the time and cost they have endured, a story many of know all too well.
As booths around us began to tear down their tents and tables, Out4Immigrations booth remained consistently busy all the way up till the end of the festival. With the help of an amazing O4I volunteer who walked around the festival throughout the day handing out stickers we were bombarded with people who sought us out in order to learn more about us. Even as we took down our banner, we continued to have people come up to us for fliers and brochures.
In looking back on the day, we can know that by simply holding conversations with people we are able to transform our numbers. By simply asking for them to help write letters to their Congress people spoke volumes to them. It is my hope that everyone reading this can now find encouragement in participating in their Pride Events as a representative of Out4Immigration. People are willing to listen and we found out on Saturday June 20, people are willing to help.
Join us on June 28 at SF Pride by emailing Kathy at kathy@out4immigration and at NY City Pride by emailing Zoe at zoeoka@yahoo.com
On Saturday June 20, the day started with an uncertainty as we set up our booth amongst more widely known organizations. Decorated proudly with our banner, pink and black balloons and a variety of other eye catching ornaments our booth stood out and could be seen from the other end of the park. As people walked by they could not help but to stop by and ask about who we were and what we stood for. For those that were unaware of the challenges that LGBT binational couples face it was clear that their support was with us. We received over 70 signatures of those who wish to be added to our mailing list and letter writing campaign. Many asked specifically as to how they can volunteer in working towards getting the UAFA passed. The director of the Sacramento Gay and Lesbian Center has offered for us to use their facilities for various functions such as town hall meetings. We were approached by a local press reporter who is interested in covering our story as well.
One of the most remarkable experiences that transpired was the opportunity to reach out to other binational couples that weren’t aware of our organization. We were given the chance to speak with over a dozen couples who didn’t know that there are people diligently working towards immigration equality. Many of the couples, as we were told, were planning to leave the country, while others were fighting to keep their work visas. Hearing about their struggle in trying to remain together, these couples spoke about the time and cost they have endured, a story many of know all too well.
As booths around us began to tear down their tents and tables, Out4Immigrations booth remained consistently busy all the way up till the end of the festival. With the help of an amazing O4I volunteer who walked around the festival throughout the day handing out stickers we were bombarded with people who sought us out in order to learn more about us. Even as we took down our banner, we continued to have people come up to us for fliers and brochures.
In looking back on the day, we can know that by simply holding conversations with people we are able to transform our numbers. By simply asking for them to help write letters to their Congress people spoke volumes to them. It is my hope that everyone reading this can now find encouragement in participating in their Pride Events as a representative of Out4Immigration. People are willing to listen and we found out on Saturday June 20, people are willing to help.
Join us on June 28 at SF Pride by emailing Kathy at kathy@out4immigration and at NY City Pride by emailing Zoe at zoeoka@yahoo.com
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
This busy world we live in...but does anything ever get done?
So many causes..so many people in need..what do we focus on first..or at all. I dont see why we cant focus on multiple items all at once. Perhaps if we all just actually got up and put actions into causes things would get done. No more time for just talking about what we are going to do..now is the time to act. Set life in motion. Just image what could be accomplished if we all did our share.
But are people too lazy. Or are they consumed with their own lives to concern themselves with the needs of others.
I dont know how else to say it other than saying : The world is messed up and dysfunctional. Are we all walking around in a haze of unawareness or is it denial to the fact that we need to step up and make the world ..well...better.
What does it take to get everyone everywhere on the same page?
In a country as rich as the United States I ask..why is there poverty..or homelessness? Why do our children get neglected when it comes to having an education that should be the best in the world. Why are hard working people losing their jobs because greedy Corporate America want to make cut backs without cutting back on CEO's bonuses.
Why are there even laws being decided on about LGBT rights by those that these rights will never directly effect? In a time where the worlds economy is in one of the worst..if not the worst downfall in history, cant the we focus on fixing that rather than whether or not it should be legal for me to marry my partner?
This isnt an issue of politics. This isnt an issue of Republican or Democrat or Independent or what ever label you believe your agenda falls under. Its about right or wrong. Its wrong to turn a blind eye to those in need because you too may be in need one day and who will come to help you? Its wrong to think the next person will help. Its wrong not to care.
We are all in this world together. What you do is important. What you dont do speaks louder than you think.
But are people too lazy. Or are they consumed with their own lives to concern themselves with the needs of others.
I dont know how else to say it other than saying : The world is messed up and dysfunctional. Are we all walking around in a haze of unawareness or is it denial to the fact that we need to step up and make the world ..well...better.
What does it take to get everyone everywhere on the same page?
In a country as rich as the United States I ask..why is there poverty..or homelessness? Why do our children get neglected when it comes to having an education that should be the best in the world. Why are hard working people losing their jobs because greedy Corporate America want to make cut backs without cutting back on CEO's bonuses.
Why are there even laws being decided on about LGBT rights by those that these rights will never directly effect? In a time where the worlds economy is in one of the worst..if not the worst downfall in history, cant the we focus on fixing that rather than whether or not it should be legal for me to marry my partner?
This isnt an issue of politics. This isnt an issue of Republican or Democrat or Independent or what ever label you believe your agenda falls under. Its about right or wrong. Its wrong to turn a blind eye to those in need because you too may be in need one day and who will come to help you? Its wrong to think the next person will help. Its wrong not to care.
We are all in this world together. What you do is important. What you dont do speaks louder than you think.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
A GAY RIGHTS ISSUE THAT’S NOT ABOUT MARRIAGE
Imagine what it feels like to have a bad day. We can all do that. With the way the world is right now, with the economy failing, home foreclosures at an all time peak and unemployment figures reaching numbers we haven’t seen since the great depression. Now think about what that day would be like if you were being forced to go home to an empty house because the United States Governments immigration laws forbid you to legally be with the one you love. Think about how the United States immigration laws make it easier for you to acquire a pet visa or a mail order bride visa than it is to acquire a visa for your partner who is a foreign national.
Today, gay and lesbian United States citizens cannot sponsor their foreign born partners for immigration, no matter how long they have been together or how committed their relationship. United States immigration law is based on the principle of 'family unification.' Accordingly, it allows U.S. citizens to reunite with their parents, children, siblings and spouses by sponsoring these family members for immigration. Gay and lesbian families are not afforded this basic dignity. According to the 2000 Census, over 36,000 couples are affected by this discrimination. Many are forced into exile and move to one of the 19 countries that offer immigration benefits to same sex couples, where others, like myself are forced to be separated from the one I love.
On February 12, 2009 Representative Jerrold Nadler (D-New York) and Senator Patrick Leahy (D-Vermont) re-introduced The United American Families Act, a bill seeking to enable gay Americans to sponsor their foreign same-sex partners for legal residency in the United States.
ITS NOT ABOUT MARRIAGE!!
The Uniting American Families Act (UAFA) seeks to provide U.S. citizens the right to sponsor their partners for immigration- it does not redefine marriage. It has nothing to do with marriage.
WHAT ABOUT FRAUD?
Applicants for permanent partnership benefits would face the same interview process that married couples face. Criminal penalties and deportation for fraud would provide an increased deterrent against sham marriages, and they should do the same to deter against fraudulent permanent partnerships.
Despite what you may believe about same sex relationships, its cant be denied that they exist. And these relationships are families. The Uniting American Families Act is designed to keep families together legally not tear them apart as current immigration laws are forcing many into.
I urge everyone who supports families to contact their congress members and let them know that American families will grow stronger with the passage of the Uniting American Families Act. You can email them directly or find your congress members phone number through Congress.org
For More Information go to: out4immigration.org
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
WHAT I WISH TO SAY TO CONGRESS
American but less than equal. Growing up in a bi-racial family in the early 70’s in New York my sisters and I were told by strangers we were less than equal because we were mixed. Moving to a then rather affluent Marin County in the 1980’s, my predominately white classmates told me I was less than equal because I was black. At 17 I enrolled at San Francisco State University to study in a male dominated music engineering degree program and as the boys in my class proclaimed supremacy as I sat alone as the only girl amongst them, I was made to feel less than equal because I was a female. Despite the challenges that being a woman, black and white presented me all those years, there was never a moment I felt being denied the right to obtaining my goals. Regardless of the prejudices I faced, I never for once stopped believing I could be successful in anything that I worked for. That is until now. I am a 35 years old woman who is in a same sex bi-national relationship who is being denied my pursuit of happiness due to the unfairness of The United States Immigration laws. Its failure to recognize my relationship as well as those who have been married in other countries, defies all definitions of freedom that were embedded in my head during Civics classes. Same sex marriages should not be an issue that is determined by popular vote or state level. This is a civil rights issue and any discrimination towards same sex couples should be viewed as unconstitutional. In this day and age where greed and corruption is at its peak, I find it difficult to find a reason why the United States forbids me to be with the someone who makes me a better person, and therefore a better American. To say that America is not ready for such a radical change in our society is an excuse that is full of hate and shame for I am sure that this kind of rhetoric was stated when women fought for the right to vote or when slavery was abolished. If not now then when. I believe in America and I believe our country has a duty to show the world that Freedom is not for a selective few. I ask that you help push forward legislation that helps those like me be able to be a member of the American dream, the American Freedom and not one who is separate and unequal.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
2009 Already has me down....how about you?
Ive been in a less than happy mood lately. Ive spent the last few months trying to improve myself yet im finding myself deeper and deeper into sadness. I quit smoking on January 1st and that has not helped my emotional stability. But the one thing that is truly taken a toll on my mood is the fact that I can not be with the one i love. Being in a bi national same sex relationship has obstacles that has taken over me. The land of the free, due to its discrimination toward same sex couples, forbids me to be with her legally. I finally have someone who makes all my sadness disappear and the country i was born in, THE USA, has shut me out from my right of happiness. With everything that is going on in the world, unemployment, debt, wars, and violence, im overwhelmed with anger. There is nothing or i should say no one able to take away the hurt that my heart feels everyday except her. Sometimes you just want to come home and be close to that special someone. Its difficult for me to put into words exactly how i feel right now. My life feels like it is on hold and that someone else ( Washington) is granted the right to dictate my future. I feel helpless though i know im not. I want to stand up against those who deny me my happiness. I want to run through the streets demanding equality.
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