Dear America,
I am writing you to let you know of my great disappointment in your laws which directly discriminate against American citizens who are in a same sex binational relationship. America boasts itself as being the land of the free but we all know how this falsehood is nothing more than a slogan.
I am an US citizen who is now leaving her country to be with the person she loves after having spent the past four years fighting for the right to sponsor my foreign born partner. Current US immigration laws grant heterosexuals this right but denies those of us in same sex relationships the same opportunity.
I’m ashamed at how you have turned your back on me. You have taken my tax money for the past 24 years but deny me freedoms that others enjoy. You told me as a child that America was the land of opportunity and that all men are created equal but as an adult I’m reminded daily of how any opportunity of my pursuit of happiness is currently out of reach and unavailable because of laws like DOMA.
I was brought up to believe in “We the People”. Am I not included in this grouping? Are the people referred to only heterosexual Americans? How many wars have brave American soldiers fought in to ensure that foreign countries gain their freedoms while here at home an ever growing number of LGBTQ Americans are denied over 1000 rights only because of who they love?
I would like to point out that I too have an American Dream but since America ceases to value me or respect my relationship it is with great sadness that I have to put my dream on hold but rest assured that I will continue to voice out my angst as I work even harder to be included in the enforcement of equal protection of the law.
I would like to bring up the fact that due to the unequal immigration laws that the United States enforces I have had to endure not only emotional stress but I have also been inflicted with an added financial burden. I have had to drain my back account in order to move to be with my partner and I am now in a financial hardship. Over the past four years we have had to spend thousands of dollars just to be able to see each other for a week at a time here and there. I have had to pay these large amounts of money only because America refuses to recognize my relationship which is clearly discrimination in its fullest.
It is bitter sweet for me to leave but I know that one day America will be better and equality with be a reality and once that occurs I will accept your apology for allowing bigotry and hate to run so freely in our laws while destroying same sex binational couples and their families. Maybe.
Signed
A US Citizen in a same sex binational relationship who so desperately wants to be proud of her country but currently is not.
Showing posts with label gay rights. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gay rights. Show all posts
Thursday, April 21, 2011
Friday, April 15, 2011
What is life like when you are in a same sex binational relationship...just one story of many
Most people probably haven’t thought about what it is like for those in same sex binational relationship. Most people probably don’t think about immigration laws when it comes to same sex relationships either. I know I hadn’t until I was in a same sex binational relationship.
When I started my relationship with my partner I had no idea of the difficulties we would face in order to have our lives together. Looking back at the past four years together I am amazed at what we have accomplished in order to establish and maintain a dedicated relationship but it is the day to day life together that we both aspire for.
A life together is all we have ever wanted and America has not made that easy for us at all. Now I know all relationships have challenges, but imagine for a moment when your country goes beyond just voicing its outrage over the fact that you are in a same sex relationship, but where it goes even further to deny you the right to be together in the same country.
American law denies me the right to sponsor her for immigration purposes and since she has no blood relative to sponsor her and work visas are extremely difficult to obtain we are forced to live apart. We are forced to live thousands of miles away from each other separated for great lengths of time by a continent and the Atlantic Ocean. We are forced to have our lives on hold. As an American citizen I am denied my pursuit of happiness all because of who I love.
So what is it like to be in this type of relationship…well I can only speak for myself as it is probably different for each couple. For me I am filled with every extreme emotion possible. When we do get a chance to be together it is the best of times but when she has to return back to her country life alters into becoming the worst of times. When we are reunited it is difficult to keep focus on the moment as both of us know that time is limited and one cannot refrain from being conscience of time as the minutes and days fly by and we will have to once again say our goodbyes. Once those goodbyes are said and done, life does go on but the emptiness is overwhelming. I often wonder why others at the airport are not crying. Aren’t they saying goodbye to someone. They probably are but to someone who can easily return back.
The emptiness is filled with immense sadness and anger. The sadness and anger increases when I realize that the hardship and emotional strain placed on me by my government could easily be solved. Since DOMA is still in effect, marrying my partner would not change our situation but if Congress passed the Uniting American Families Act, the language in US immigration law would be changed to include same sex partners granting us the right to sponsor our foreign born partner. By the addition to US immigration law of a few little words I could be with my partner right now instead of being thousands of miles apart.
As I mentioned earlier life goes on but this is where I ask the reader to take a moment and step into my shoes. Imagine missing out on the everyday events that you enjoy with the one you love. Imagine a sunny day where you would just like to take a walk in the park with them or a Friday night where you would like to go see the latest blockbuster movie. These simple things might not seem like much and are probably things a great many people take for granted. When you only get to see your partner, if you’re lucky, a few weeks out of the year, these simple events mean everything. And what about the bad times we all go through? I had two major surgeries over the past few months and not having her here with me added so much difficulties in my recovery that there were times I just didn’t have the strength to get out of bed.
If I could paint a picture of how I feel even as I write this it would be a canvass of nothing but black paint representing a dark void overflowing with chaos because that is what life is right now. I look around my house and I know she is not here but I see so many things that remind me of the great times we have spent together but at the end of the day I am here alone and only because my government has discriminated against my relationship. So what does one do? Do you leave your country that you have lived in your whole life, the country that proudly boasts about being the land of the free? How do you overcome the feeling that your country has turned its back on you? How do you face another day without the one person who brings you the kind of happiness you always imagined existed and waited your whole life to find? Do you cry or do you scream out or perhaps both?
These are all questions I have had to ask myself since my government has turned its back on me. I hope that one day I will be able to live in America with my partner and that my country is one where equality is no longer just an aspiration but a reality but until then we remain apart and my days and nights continue to be filled with grief.
When I started my relationship with my partner I had no idea of the difficulties we would face in order to have our lives together. Looking back at the past four years together I am amazed at what we have accomplished in order to establish and maintain a dedicated relationship but it is the day to day life together that we both aspire for.
A life together is all we have ever wanted and America has not made that easy for us at all. Now I know all relationships have challenges, but imagine for a moment when your country goes beyond just voicing its outrage over the fact that you are in a same sex relationship, but where it goes even further to deny you the right to be together in the same country.
American law denies me the right to sponsor her for immigration purposes and since she has no blood relative to sponsor her and work visas are extremely difficult to obtain we are forced to live apart. We are forced to live thousands of miles away from each other separated for great lengths of time by a continent and the Atlantic Ocean. We are forced to have our lives on hold. As an American citizen I am denied my pursuit of happiness all because of who I love.
So what is it like to be in this type of relationship…well I can only speak for myself as it is probably different for each couple. For me I am filled with every extreme emotion possible. When we do get a chance to be together it is the best of times but when she has to return back to her country life alters into becoming the worst of times. When we are reunited it is difficult to keep focus on the moment as both of us know that time is limited and one cannot refrain from being conscience of time as the minutes and days fly by and we will have to once again say our goodbyes. Once those goodbyes are said and done, life does go on but the emptiness is overwhelming. I often wonder why others at the airport are not crying. Aren’t they saying goodbye to someone. They probably are but to someone who can easily return back.
The emptiness is filled with immense sadness and anger. The sadness and anger increases when I realize that the hardship and emotional strain placed on me by my government could easily be solved. Since DOMA is still in effect, marrying my partner would not change our situation but if Congress passed the Uniting American Families Act, the language in US immigration law would be changed to include same sex partners granting us the right to sponsor our foreign born partner. By the addition to US immigration law of a few little words I could be with my partner right now instead of being thousands of miles apart.
As I mentioned earlier life goes on but this is where I ask the reader to take a moment and step into my shoes. Imagine missing out on the everyday events that you enjoy with the one you love. Imagine a sunny day where you would just like to take a walk in the park with them or a Friday night where you would like to go see the latest blockbuster movie. These simple things might not seem like much and are probably things a great many people take for granted. When you only get to see your partner, if you’re lucky, a few weeks out of the year, these simple events mean everything. And what about the bad times we all go through? I had two major surgeries over the past few months and not having her here with me added so much difficulties in my recovery that there were times I just didn’t have the strength to get out of bed.
If I could paint a picture of how I feel even as I write this it would be a canvass of nothing but black paint representing a dark void overflowing with chaos because that is what life is right now. I look around my house and I know she is not here but I see so many things that remind me of the great times we have spent together but at the end of the day I am here alone and only because my government has discriminated against my relationship. So what does one do? Do you leave your country that you have lived in your whole life, the country that proudly boasts about being the land of the free? How do you overcome the feeling that your country has turned its back on you? How do you face another day without the one person who brings you the kind of happiness you always imagined existed and waited your whole life to find? Do you cry or do you scream out or perhaps both?
These are all questions I have had to ask myself since my government has turned its back on me. I hope that one day I will be able to live in America with my partner and that my country is one where equality is no longer just an aspiration but a reality but until then we remain apart and my days and nights continue to be filled with grief.
Tuesday, June 23, 2009
Encouraging Day at Sacramento Pride 2009.
Out4Immigrations presence at this year’s Sacramento Pride has and will continue to make a difference in working towards Immigration equality. During the course of the day we able to reach out to so many in the community and gain support from those who are currently facing LGBT immigration difficulties as well as those who aren’t but are willing to help us in our efforts.
On Saturday June 20, the day started with an uncertainty as we set up our booth amongst more widely known organizations. Decorated proudly with our banner, pink and black balloons and a variety of other eye catching ornaments our booth stood out and could be seen from the other end of the park. As people walked by they could not help but to stop by and ask about who we were and what we stood for. For those that were unaware of the challenges that LGBT binational couples face it was clear that their support was with us. We received over 70 signatures of those who wish to be added to our mailing list and letter writing campaign. Many asked specifically as to how they can volunteer in working towards getting the UAFA passed. The director of the Sacramento Gay and Lesbian Center has offered for us to use their facilities for various functions such as town hall meetings. We were approached by a local press reporter who is interested in covering our story as well.
One of the most remarkable experiences that transpired was the opportunity to reach out to other binational couples that weren’t aware of our organization. We were given the chance to speak with over a dozen couples who didn’t know that there are people diligently working towards immigration equality. Many of the couples, as we were told, were planning to leave the country, while others were fighting to keep their work visas. Hearing about their struggle in trying to remain together, these couples spoke about the time and cost they have endured, a story many of know all too well.
As booths around us began to tear down their tents and tables, Out4Immigrations booth remained consistently busy all the way up till the end of the festival. With the help of an amazing O4I volunteer who walked around the festival throughout the day handing out stickers we were bombarded with people who sought us out in order to learn more about us. Even as we took down our banner, we continued to have people come up to us for fliers and brochures.
In looking back on the day, we can know that by simply holding conversations with people we are able to transform our numbers. By simply asking for them to help write letters to their Congress people spoke volumes to them. It is my hope that everyone reading this can now find encouragement in participating in their Pride Events as a representative of Out4Immigration. People are willing to listen and we found out on Saturday June 20, people are willing to help.
Join us on June 28 at SF Pride by emailing Kathy at kathy@out4immigration and at NY City Pride by emailing Zoe at zoeoka@yahoo.com
On Saturday June 20, the day started with an uncertainty as we set up our booth amongst more widely known organizations. Decorated proudly with our banner, pink and black balloons and a variety of other eye catching ornaments our booth stood out and could be seen from the other end of the park. As people walked by they could not help but to stop by and ask about who we were and what we stood for. For those that were unaware of the challenges that LGBT binational couples face it was clear that their support was with us. We received over 70 signatures of those who wish to be added to our mailing list and letter writing campaign. Many asked specifically as to how they can volunteer in working towards getting the UAFA passed. The director of the Sacramento Gay and Lesbian Center has offered for us to use their facilities for various functions such as town hall meetings. We were approached by a local press reporter who is interested in covering our story as well.
One of the most remarkable experiences that transpired was the opportunity to reach out to other binational couples that weren’t aware of our organization. We were given the chance to speak with over a dozen couples who didn’t know that there are people diligently working towards immigration equality. Many of the couples, as we were told, were planning to leave the country, while others were fighting to keep their work visas. Hearing about their struggle in trying to remain together, these couples spoke about the time and cost they have endured, a story many of know all too well.
As booths around us began to tear down their tents and tables, Out4Immigrations booth remained consistently busy all the way up till the end of the festival. With the help of an amazing O4I volunteer who walked around the festival throughout the day handing out stickers we were bombarded with people who sought us out in order to learn more about us. Even as we took down our banner, we continued to have people come up to us for fliers and brochures.
In looking back on the day, we can know that by simply holding conversations with people we are able to transform our numbers. By simply asking for them to help write letters to their Congress people spoke volumes to them. It is my hope that everyone reading this can now find encouragement in participating in their Pride Events as a representative of Out4Immigration. People are willing to listen and we found out on Saturday June 20, people are willing to help.
Join us on June 28 at SF Pride by emailing Kathy at kathy@out4immigration and at NY City Pride by emailing Zoe at zoeoka@yahoo.com
Tuesday, April 28, 2009
This busy world we live in...but does anything ever get done?
So many causes..so many people in need..what do we focus on first..or at all. I dont see why we cant focus on multiple items all at once. Perhaps if we all just actually got up and put actions into causes things would get done. No more time for just talking about what we are going to do..now is the time to act. Set life in motion. Just image what could be accomplished if we all did our share.
But are people too lazy. Or are they consumed with their own lives to concern themselves with the needs of others.
I dont know how else to say it other than saying : The world is messed up and dysfunctional. Are we all walking around in a haze of unawareness or is it denial to the fact that we need to step up and make the world ..well...better.
What does it take to get everyone everywhere on the same page?
In a country as rich as the United States I ask..why is there poverty..or homelessness? Why do our children get neglected when it comes to having an education that should be the best in the world. Why are hard working people losing their jobs because greedy Corporate America want to make cut backs without cutting back on CEO's bonuses.
Why are there even laws being decided on about LGBT rights by those that these rights will never directly effect? In a time where the worlds economy is in one of the worst..if not the worst downfall in history, cant the we focus on fixing that rather than whether or not it should be legal for me to marry my partner?
This isnt an issue of politics. This isnt an issue of Republican or Democrat or Independent or what ever label you believe your agenda falls under. Its about right or wrong. Its wrong to turn a blind eye to those in need because you too may be in need one day and who will come to help you? Its wrong to think the next person will help. Its wrong not to care.
We are all in this world together. What you do is important. What you dont do speaks louder than you think.
But are people too lazy. Or are they consumed with their own lives to concern themselves with the needs of others.
I dont know how else to say it other than saying : The world is messed up and dysfunctional. Are we all walking around in a haze of unawareness or is it denial to the fact that we need to step up and make the world ..well...better.
What does it take to get everyone everywhere on the same page?
In a country as rich as the United States I ask..why is there poverty..or homelessness? Why do our children get neglected when it comes to having an education that should be the best in the world. Why are hard working people losing their jobs because greedy Corporate America want to make cut backs without cutting back on CEO's bonuses.
Why are there even laws being decided on about LGBT rights by those that these rights will never directly effect? In a time where the worlds economy is in one of the worst..if not the worst downfall in history, cant the we focus on fixing that rather than whether or not it should be legal for me to marry my partner?
This isnt an issue of politics. This isnt an issue of Republican or Democrat or Independent or what ever label you believe your agenda falls under. Its about right or wrong. Its wrong to turn a blind eye to those in need because you too may be in need one day and who will come to help you? Its wrong to think the next person will help. Its wrong not to care.
We are all in this world together. What you do is important. What you dont do speaks louder than you think.
Saturday, February 21, 2009
A GAY RIGHTS ISSUE THAT’S NOT ABOUT MARRIAGE
Imagine what it feels like to have a bad day. We can all do that. With the way the world is right now, with the economy failing, home foreclosures at an all time peak and unemployment figures reaching numbers we haven’t seen since the great depression. Now think about what that day would be like if you were being forced to go home to an empty house because the United States Governments immigration laws forbid you to legally be with the one you love. Think about how the United States immigration laws make it easier for you to acquire a pet visa or a mail order bride visa than it is to acquire a visa for your partner who is a foreign national.
Today, gay and lesbian United States citizens cannot sponsor their foreign born partners for immigration, no matter how long they have been together or how committed their relationship. United States immigration law is based on the principle of 'family unification.' Accordingly, it allows U.S. citizens to reunite with their parents, children, siblings and spouses by sponsoring these family members for immigration. Gay and lesbian families are not afforded this basic dignity. According to the 2000 Census, over 36,000 couples are affected by this discrimination. Many are forced into exile and move to one of the 19 countries that offer immigration benefits to same sex couples, where others, like myself are forced to be separated from the one I love.
On February 12, 2009 Representative Jerrold Nadler (D-New York) and Senator Patrick Leahy (D-Vermont) re-introduced The United American Families Act, a bill seeking to enable gay Americans to sponsor their foreign same-sex partners for legal residency in the United States.
ITS NOT ABOUT MARRIAGE!!
The Uniting American Families Act (UAFA) seeks to provide U.S. citizens the right to sponsor their partners for immigration- it does not redefine marriage. It has nothing to do with marriage.
WHAT ABOUT FRAUD?
Applicants for permanent partnership benefits would face the same interview process that married couples face. Criminal penalties and deportation for fraud would provide an increased deterrent against sham marriages, and they should do the same to deter against fraudulent permanent partnerships.
Despite what you may believe about same sex relationships, its cant be denied that they exist. And these relationships are families. The Uniting American Families Act is designed to keep families together legally not tear them apart as current immigration laws are forcing many into.
I urge everyone who supports families to contact their congress members and let them know that American families will grow stronger with the passage of the Uniting American Families Act. You can email them directly or find your congress members phone number through Congress.org
For More Information go to: out4immigration.org
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
